I am on day 10 of "Operation Goddess" and the idea of eating low GI, fat free, low cal diet, bland and boring diet food is making want to be ill! One more bowl of soup and I might just lose my mind. I actually am not craving anything too extravagant or decadent.... just the chocolate cake seated beside me! No no, I really am just kidding, but the little chocolate balls on top of the vanilla and chocolate icing really do look divine compared to yet another bowl of veggie soup....
I am actually amazed at my will power. I am secretly rather pleased with myself whilst I sit here watching all my colleagues indulging on the treats people have brought back from their holidays such as Hershey's chocolate bars from the States, Nougat from Malta, Turkish Delight from Cyprus and chocolate biscuits from Croatia! So I don't get to go on the holiday or feast on the treasures from the Motherland.... but at least I will be hot and wearing skinny jeans!!
Tonight I am going to Powerplate (AKA the giant vibrator) with 'gym club' - (a gang of us work colleagues who are giving it horns to achieve Goddess status). Our 'Gym club' members come in all shapes and sizes and of course varying enthusiasm and co-ordination. I am a fairly new addition to the club so I have been warned that "what happens at gym stays at gym" - ooh I am dying to see what happens in these classes... I am imagining lots of wobbly bits, tongues hanging out, red faces and intense concentration. This is the kind of state you never would like your colleagues to see you in. You always try to maintain some kind of professionalism with your colleagues, they do not need to see you in spandex, flustered and struggling for oxygen - it is just not a good look and any evidence of this could be good fodder for blackmail!
The upside is we have "a little team" and to avoid embarrassment we work our butts off (one can only hope). We are so competitive and try desperately to prove to each other that we are fit and on top of things, so perhaps working out with your colleagues is actually the way to go!
I need to sign off as my boss has asked me to run around to all the meeting rooms and steal some orange juice as she is "parched".... ! Can you see why this woman is responsible for at least 5 of my 10 stubborn kilograms?
Wednesday, 29 July 2009
Tuesday, 28 July 2009
If the dress fits...
Well yesterday was a great success - I am officially on to week two without a glitch, I am just taking the "out of control weekend" as a necessity. Fun times = Happy= which of course = Goddess! I must remember though, fun times do not necessarily mean wearing the "yellow jersey" in the art of pastry eating and cocktail drinking!
Today is going pretty well - I woke up early, did a spinning class and raced into work at a rate of knots so that the Black Mamba would not notice I was missing in action. If she could, she would have me here at the break of dawn. BM even has the cheek to send me messages all through the night - I am blaming her for at least 5 of my 10 stubborn kilograms!
I must say I do moan about my weight quite a lot but I do only consider myself a wee bit heavy (well I sincerely hope that is the case and I am not having dellusions of grandeur). A few days ago I forgot to mention that my lovely but extremely pregnant friend (due in very early September) wanted to borrow a dress of mine to wear to a wedding. What? Mmm.... I thought long and hard (about 5 seconds), took a few very deep breathes and very cooly said "no problem darling - knock yourself out". I thought she had lost the plot, how could my friend, who is about to pop, fit into my dress. I thought best thing is not to argue with hormones! I secretly hoped when I handed the dress over that this damn frock would not go over her left thigh. My sweet and kind friend texted me a bit later to say "thank you so much for the kind favour, the dress fits like a glove, you are a star!" - WHAT!??????????????? I could not believe my ears, I was horrified. Plus, she thinks I have good taste so she told everyone it was mine! Let me tell you the worst part....... SHE IS PREGNANT WITH TWINS!
When I think of that story I just cringe but it does keep me on the straight and narrow. I must say, I do look forward to being pregnant one day (hopefully it will be with triplets) and I will definitely be giving her a call when I have a wardrobe crisis!!
I am now off to a PA meeting, how joyful! We will be discussing ways to improve our subservience for the greater good - cannot wait!
Till tomorrow....
Today is going pretty well - I woke up early, did a spinning class and raced into work at a rate of knots so that the Black Mamba would not notice I was missing in action. If she could, she would have me here at the break of dawn. BM even has the cheek to send me messages all through the night - I am blaming her for at least 5 of my 10 stubborn kilograms!
I must say I do moan about my weight quite a lot but I do only consider myself a wee bit heavy (well I sincerely hope that is the case and I am not having dellusions of grandeur). A few days ago I forgot to mention that my lovely but extremely pregnant friend (due in very early September) wanted to borrow a dress of mine to wear to a wedding. What? Mmm.... I thought long and hard (about 5 seconds), took a few very deep breathes and very cooly said "no problem darling - knock yourself out". I thought she had lost the plot, how could my friend, who is about to pop, fit into my dress. I thought best thing is not to argue with hormones! I secretly hoped when I handed the dress over that this damn frock would not go over her left thigh. My sweet and kind friend texted me a bit later to say "thank you so much for the kind favour, the dress fits like a glove, you are a star!" - WHAT!??????????????? I could not believe my ears, I was horrified. Plus, she thinks I have good taste so she told everyone it was mine! Let me tell you the worst part....... SHE IS PREGNANT WITH TWINS!
When I think of that story I just cringe but it does keep me on the straight and narrow. I must say, I do look forward to being pregnant one day (hopefully it will be with triplets) and I will definitely be giving her a call when I have a wardrobe crisis!!
I am now off to a PA meeting, how joyful! We will be discussing ways to improve our subservience for the greater good - cannot wait!
Till tomorrow....
Monday, 27 July 2009
Breaking news.... I rolled off the wagon!
Forgive me people.... I have a confession...
I was not the chubby sad kid in the corner nibbling on my carrot sticks and vodka and soda this weekend so please do not feel sorry for me, I was the chubby but extremely happy kid, drinking my cocktails and dominating the dance floor at our Summer Party.
I woke up on Sunday morning, not feeling so fabulous (25 000 calories later) and I was feeling rather bad about not only drinking the most fattening bev of all time but also devouring some mini pies, crisps and of course a variety of other snacks. At the time, I felt that it was my 'duty' to eat what was available as I needed to line my stomach. My intentions were good, I started off on the fruit kebabs and then then I don't know.... my hand accidentally landed up in the pastries! disaster!
A bite of reality got me on Sunday morning.... like a thorn in my side, I remembered I had my boyfriend's cousin's christening to attend.
The idea of getting all dressed up to impress the family and go to church filled me with dread however, I did it and put on a pretty good show I think. My head was pounding owing the to absolute hysteria that was going on by the abundance of tiny kids and standing up to sing Morning has Broken with my voice 5 octaves lower than normal was not my finest moment.
After the christening we all popped over to the church Hall where there was a huge spread for all guests. My boyfriend was having a laugh at me as I needed to sit down, it was a combination of factors really, high heels, headache, screaming children, loads of strangers and church after a massive party! Then you know what it (the boyfriend) does.... it has a chuckle with its aunt and says "ooh she is feeling a bit rough, she had a big night last night" what? Why did I not just roll out of bed and arrive at the Church wearing my outfit from the night before with the chocolate sauce down my skirt! There I was putting on my finest behaviour and he just goes and negates it in 5 seconds flat.
I did have a wonderful day after all, but my wagon whizzed right past me on Sunday (once again), without me getting on it. I was starving and tucked into a couple of treats (including cheese cake) to keep me going as church ended up to be an all day family gathering!
I did feel very bad on Sunday night but I suppose one cannot be a complete bore and avoid social situations because one is on Operation Goddess. It is okay to have a bit of fun and let your hair down on the weekend. I did find my wagon this morning and climbed straight back onto it. I am pleased to say I had a weigh in this morning and have lost 0.8kg. I was a bit disappointed, I was hoping to have lost all 10kgs in one week but... ho hum better luck next time.
BM (aka Black Mamba) is back from her holidays, I am writing this under high pressure and on high alert, the scary witch has a tendency to sneak up to me at any given and unexpected moment!
I was not the chubby sad kid in the corner nibbling on my carrot sticks and vodka and soda this weekend so please do not feel sorry for me, I was the chubby but extremely happy kid, drinking my cocktails and dominating the dance floor at our Summer Party.
I woke up on Sunday morning, not feeling so fabulous (25 000 calories later) and I was feeling rather bad about not only drinking the most fattening bev of all time but also devouring some mini pies, crisps and of course a variety of other snacks. At the time, I felt that it was my 'duty' to eat what was available as I needed to line my stomach. My intentions were good, I started off on the fruit kebabs and then then I don't know.... my hand accidentally landed up in the pastries! disaster!
A bite of reality got me on Sunday morning.... like a thorn in my side, I remembered I had my boyfriend's cousin's christening to attend.
The idea of getting all dressed up to impress the family and go to church filled me with dread however, I did it and put on a pretty good show I think. My head was pounding owing the to absolute hysteria that was going on by the abundance of tiny kids and standing up to sing Morning has Broken with my voice 5 octaves lower than normal was not my finest moment.
After the christening we all popped over to the church Hall where there was a huge spread for all guests. My boyfriend was having a laugh at me as I needed to sit down, it was a combination of factors really, high heels, headache, screaming children, loads of strangers and church after a massive party! Then you know what it (the boyfriend) does.... it has a chuckle with its aunt and says "ooh she is feeling a bit rough, she had a big night last night" what? Why did I not just roll out of bed and arrive at the Church wearing my outfit from the night before with the chocolate sauce down my skirt! There I was putting on my finest behaviour and he just goes and negates it in 5 seconds flat.
I did have a wonderful day after all, but my wagon whizzed right past me on Sunday (once again), without me getting on it. I was starving and tucked into a couple of treats (including cheese cake) to keep me going as church ended up to be an all day family gathering!
I did feel very bad on Sunday night but I suppose one cannot be a complete bore and avoid social situations because one is on Operation Goddess. It is okay to have a bit of fun and let your hair down on the weekend. I did find my wagon this morning and climbed straight back onto it. I am pleased to say I had a weigh in this morning and have lost 0.8kg. I was a bit disappointed, I was hoping to have lost all 10kgs in one week but... ho hum better luck next time.
BM (aka Black Mamba) is back from her holidays, I am writing this under high pressure and on high alert, the scary witch has a tendency to sneak up to me at any given and unexpected moment!
Friday, 24 July 2009
Moderation... (Yawn!)
Yaaih it is Friday, I thought this day would never come! Usually Friday would means chill out, kick back, let go and definitely forget about the diet!
I would have wine on the menu for this evening and I would probablly be off to the local to solve the world's problems with my mates. Alas alack, considering my new found "skinny chick" mentality is not quite ingrained as of yet, I am going to ensure I walk past the pub and straight home and perhaps throw myself a pity party with carrot sticks and apples - you keen?
My mother has always mantained the cutest little figure because she is basically the ambassador of that boring and very annoying 10 letter word..... M O D E R A T I O N.
I have been told once before, I forget by who, to never ever do too much of anything because that will mean at some stage of your life, you are going to have to quit whatever you have over indulged on and it is the quitting your favourite things that kills your spirit. Mom, on that note, I do regret devouring all the household treats when I was a kid. You were right, moderation is the answer to world tension. I do so wish I did not have to give anything up to find my inner Goddess...
In the house we grew up in, we had a passage that went on for what seemed like miles to my 8 year old mind. Our lounge and bedrooms were right at the top of the passage and the kitchen at the bottom. My dad used to send me on 'secret missions', of course he would time me, to go grab him a beer out the fridge. I used to sprint as fast as I could singing "Jesus loves me this I know" (Sunday School classic) all the way to the the bottom of the passage to ensure the baddies did not attack me en route.
In the daylight however, I was far braver. My mom would have a quick afternoon lie down (our bedrooms were adjacent) and I would slowly creep up the passage step by step to find the secret stash of mini chocolate bars or perhaps steal some ice-cream from the freezer. I tip toed so gracefully and knew how to avoid every creek that there was however, as I found the "treasure" and was about celebrate my victory of finding the new secret hiding place by stuffing a chocolate down my throat, I would hear my mom shout "V-i-c-t-o-r-i-aaaaa - what are you doing?" How did my mother know? Of course my sister (she got the moderation gene) never blimmen pinched anything so in our house I could never put the blame on her. I tried it a few times but I think resident Nancy Drew might have smelt a rat when skinny daughter with angelic smile stood next to the little short chubby one with a chocolate trail all he way down her dress.
I read my star sign this morning - could it be more accurate!
Aquarius (Jan 21 to Feb 19)
Strengthen your resolve to ahcieve a goal by informing someone else -
or even multiple people - of your quest, Aquarius. Because that way,
you'll have the added - an at the moment, much needed - pressure of realising
that you will look silly if you fall short. It's tough love, but it's going to work, you know
Could I please add "very" tough love!! Have a good weekend fellow Goddesses, wish me luck for Saturday! I know I can do it, if I just keep strong I am that much closer to skinny jeans... bring it on.
I would have wine on the menu for this evening and I would probablly be off to the local to solve the world's problems with my mates. Alas alack, considering my new found "skinny chick" mentality is not quite ingrained as of yet, I am going to ensure I walk past the pub and straight home and perhaps throw myself a pity party with carrot sticks and apples - you keen?
My mother has always mantained the cutest little figure because she is basically the ambassador of that boring and very annoying 10 letter word..... M O D E R A T I O N.
I have been told once before, I forget by who, to never ever do too much of anything because that will mean at some stage of your life, you are going to have to quit whatever you have over indulged on and it is the quitting your favourite things that kills your spirit. Mom, on that note, I do regret devouring all the household treats when I was a kid. You were right, moderation is the answer to world tension. I do so wish I did not have to give anything up to find my inner Goddess...
In the house we grew up in, we had a passage that went on for what seemed like miles to my 8 year old mind. Our lounge and bedrooms were right at the top of the passage and the kitchen at the bottom. My dad used to send me on 'secret missions', of course he would time me, to go grab him a beer out the fridge. I used to sprint as fast as I could singing "Jesus loves me this I know" (Sunday School classic) all the way to the the bottom of the passage to ensure the baddies did not attack me en route.
In the daylight however, I was far braver. My mom would have a quick afternoon lie down (our bedrooms were adjacent) and I would slowly creep up the passage step by step to find the secret stash of mini chocolate bars or perhaps steal some ice-cream from the freezer. I tip toed so gracefully and knew how to avoid every creek that there was however, as I found the "treasure" and was about celebrate my victory of finding the new secret hiding place by stuffing a chocolate down my throat, I would hear my mom shout "V-i-c-t-o-r-i-aaaaa - what are you doing?" How did my mother know? Of course my sister (she got the moderation gene) never blimmen pinched anything so in our house I could never put the blame on her. I tried it a few times but I think resident Nancy Drew might have smelt a rat when skinny daughter with angelic smile stood next to the little short chubby one with a chocolate trail all he way down her dress.
I read my star sign this morning - could it be more accurate!
Aquarius (Jan 21 to Feb 19)
Strengthen your resolve to ahcieve a goal by informing someone else -
or even multiple people - of your quest, Aquarius. Because that way,
you'll have the added - an at the moment, much needed - pressure of realising
that you will look silly if you fall short. It's tough love, but it's going to work, you know
Could I please add "very" tough love!! Have a good weekend fellow Goddesses, wish me luck for Saturday! I know I can do it, if I just keep strong I am that much closer to skinny jeans... bring it on.
Thursday, 23 July 2009
Still going strong!
Today I am feeling good. I did not hit the snooze button once and my waking thought was not how I wanted to eat an entire cow but rather I was rather taken by the birds tweeting outside the window and my pending spin class. I really need to buy some proper gym attire instead of constantly dealing with wardrobe malfunctions from my wholly (in the crotch) shorts - I must start looking the part.
I am now starting to become a regular with the early morning spin crew. I walked into the studio this morning like I owned the place and gave a little half smile to the usual suspects; the Sinewy Lady (the one that makes me look like Jack the Giant Killer), Miss Marshmallow (the one who makes me feel so much better about being me) and little Miss Tight Pants (the one who makes me feel like I should be eating only 50 calories a day!).
I think all the excercise is paying off. Today for the first time in ages my legs do not feel like vacume packed sausages in my work pants.
I absolutely refused to buy more trousers before I could fit into the ones that I had. I know it is awful and I probablly looked a sight but the key for me, was to just never to look down or look at my bottom half in the mirror, I just pretended I was wearing really tight skinny jeans (Note to self: keep the dream alive!)
Amazingly after a tough morning at the office... I almost forgot to eat my lunch (just kidding - I have not gone over to the darkside). I did not think about food until after 12h00 which I think is good progress I even shamefully, in my sheer state of shock when realising the time, announced this fact so proudly and loudly to my colleagues at 12h05! What these people must think of me!
I am so excited to have my weigh in next Monday, I am just hoping my body does not register Saturday! We are having our big Summer Party!
I am in charge of the food and the theme is British Seaside so the snacks are: mini Cornish Pasties; Pork Pies; Cheese and Onion Rolls, Pesto and Mozzarella on bite size puff pastry squares, cream cheese and chicken Tikka wraps; loads of crisps and dips and to end with ice cream with choc sauce in sugar cones..... and of course cocktails!
Ten thousand five hundred and fifty five calories later...............
Saturday is my biggest test yet... Please God - lead me not into temptation and keep me away from the snack table!
I will be the sad chubby kid in the corner nibbling on my carrot sticks, fruit kebabs turning down the offers of punch and sticking to my pure vodka lime and water!
I am now starting to become a regular with the early morning spin crew. I walked into the studio this morning like I owned the place and gave a little half smile to the usual suspects; the Sinewy Lady (the one that makes me look like Jack the Giant Killer), Miss Marshmallow (the one who makes me feel so much better about being me) and little Miss Tight Pants (the one who makes me feel like I should be eating only 50 calories a day!).
I think all the excercise is paying off. Today for the first time in ages my legs do not feel like vacume packed sausages in my work pants.
I absolutely refused to buy more trousers before I could fit into the ones that I had. I know it is awful and I probablly looked a sight but the key for me, was to just never to look down or look at my bottom half in the mirror, I just pretended I was wearing really tight skinny jeans (Note to self: keep the dream alive!)
Amazingly after a tough morning at the office... I almost forgot to eat my lunch (just kidding - I have not gone over to the darkside). I did not think about food until after 12h00 which I think is good progress I even shamefully, in my sheer state of shock when realising the time, announced this fact so proudly and loudly to my colleagues at 12h05! What these people must think of me!
I am so excited to have my weigh in next Monday, I am just hoping my body does not register Saturday! We are having our big Summer Party!
I am in charge of the food and the theme is British Seaside so the snacks are: mini Cornish Pasties; Pork Pies; Cheese and Onion Rolls, Pesto and Mozzarella on bite size puff pastry squares, cream cheese and chicken Tikka wraps; loads of crisps and dips and to end with ice cream with choc sauce in sugar cones..... and of course cocktails!
Ten thousand five hundred and fifty five calories later...............
Saturday is my biggest test yet... Please God - lead me not into temptation and keep me away from the snack table!
I will be the sad chubby kid in the corner nibbling on my carrot sticks, fruit kebabs turning down the offers of punch and sticking to my pure vodka lime and water!
Wednesday, 22 July 2009
Hunger equals bitchy streak!
5h30am this morning I was meant to be up and about and getting ready to go to gym but instead, I found myself hitting the snooze button every 5 minutes all the way to 7 'clock. I was tired and lethargic and utterly uninspired after looking in the mirror on a loo run in the early hours of the morning only to discover that I looked exactly the same as the day before. Nope, no begginings of chiseled cheekbones or a slimmer waist, just exactly the same however, the rings under the eyes are new (typical). My prayers to wake up looking like Cindy Crawford went unnoticed, I am thinking that perhaps the Gods are preoccupied with world peace or something so I might have to do this all by myself! Bugger!
When I arrived at work today, my colleagues sitting around me (all women) were all in a tizz. They have heard a rumour that I am on "Operation Goddess" and want to find out all the details. Oh my, it is quite sad how us women are so desperate to find the next quick fix that is finally going to solve all our body issues. There I was, in amongst all my colleagues, holding the floor and answering a battery of questions about what method I am using, the tricks, the food the excercise you name it. Apparently I am the "Guinea Pig" and if I start looking fabulous in 2 weeks they will all jump on board.... ummm I am just going to ignore the slight insult there that apparently I must not be looking too fabulous right now (1200 Calories makes one highly sensitive). Everyone is ogling over my every mouthful - I definitely will not get away with cheating, this mission may just work.
I popped out during my lunch break feeling quite good as I still have one snack left for the day and it is almost 14h00. My headache is still there and I would kill for a power nap however, I am no longer feeling like I could potentially die of starvation in the next hour!
Of course, owing to my current situation I have a new found bitchy streak and I noticed a rather large lady in the lift at work wearing kitten heels... FYI this is really not a good look. If you are overweight, obese, porky or plump do not even go near a kitten heeled shoe, you cannot help thinking, when looking from behind that the weight has been to much for the heel to bear and it is in mid collapse! You may even look like Cinderella's less attractive sister whose foot was too bloody chubby to fit into the glass slipper. If you are going to wear heels, please refrain from wearing squashed heels A) they are not in season and B) normal sturdy heels make the leg look so much leaner and longer and of course it makes you feel sexy and tall.
After mentioning my "one snack left" I now cannot stop thinking about it.... it is only an apple for God's sake! What is happening to me?
When I arrived at work today, my colleagues sitting around me (all women) were all in a tizz. They have heard a rumour that I am on "Operation Goddess" and want to find out all the details. Oh my, it is quite sad how us women are so desperate to find the next quick fix that is finally going to solve all our body issues. There I was, in amongst all my colleagues, holding the floor and answering a battery of questions about what method I am using, the tricks, the food the excercise you name it. Apparently I am the "Guinea Pig" and if I start looking fabulous in 2 weeks they will all jump on board.... ummm I am just going to ignore the slight insult there that apparently I must not be looking too fabulous right now (1200 Calories makes one highly sensitive). Everyone is ogling over my every mouthful - I definitely will not get away with cheating, this mission may just work.
I popped out during my lunch break feeling quite good as I still have one snack left for the day and it is almost 14h00. My headache is still there and I would kill for a power nap however, I am no longer feeling like I could potentially die of starvation in the next hour!
Of course, owing to my current situation I have a new found bitchy streak and I noticed a rather large lady in the lift at work wearing kitten heels... FYI this is really not a good look. If you are overweight, obese, porky or plump do not even go near a kitten heeled shoe, you cannot help thinking, when looking from behind that the weight has been to much for the heel to bear and it is in mid collapse! You may even look like Cinderella's less attractive sister whose foot was too bloody chubby to fit into the glass slipper. If you are going to wear heels, please refrain from wearing squashed heels A) they are not in season and B) normal sturdy heels make the leg look so much leaner and longer and of course it makes you feel sexy and tall.
After mentioning my "one snack left" I now cannot stop thinking about it.... it is only an apple for God's sake! What is happening to me?
Tuesday, 21 July 2009
Deep in the trenches
When my alarm sounded in the early hours of this morning, my entire body was taken over by a rather unfamiliar feeling.... I was starving!!
I immediately put my alarm on snooze and started dreaming about scrambled egg on toast only to wake up once again to reality...
At work, I found myself nibbling on yet another Lilliputin sized bowl of Granola!
In a day I am entitled to breakfast (cereal), a snack (health bar, oatbake biscuits or a fruit bar), 2 pieces of fruit throughout the day, lunch (soup) and dinner (stews, stroganoffs, curries etc). It is now just on 1pm and I only have dinner left....... I tried so hard to hold out but the detox headache, tiredness and hunger got the better of me.
I have no doubt that while you are reading this you can tell this is the work of a deprived and desperate woman! When I heated my soup up in the microwave and poured it into a serving bowl, I scraped off every possible reminant I could. There was no way I was going to miss out on any calories - I am only on 1200 per day and I am going to have every single one of them.
I think my boyfriend is going to think I am a nutter. He is quite a foodie and always likes to taste various dishes and when he sees my plate and interesting diet food he is going to want to stick his fork in.... well all I am saying is - he must watch out if he values his fingers! The worst thing is, I don't want him to think I am a crazy cow with defective angry genes so I am probablly going to have to let him eat 500 of my calories (I so rightly deserve) in one mouthful!
Day 2 is so difficult, I must hang in there and stay focussed!
I swear I am being tested, Jason in IT (evil personified) has sent out an email: "clotted cream toffees and chocolate truffles - please tuck in".... oh my heavens I am feeling rather vulnerable right now, my body has a natural GPS to the sweetie table and I keep having to bloody walk past it and pretend I am not interested.
This is crazy, please God can I wake up tomorrow morning looking like Cindy Crawford, I even promise not to email, blog or do and ficticious online shopping during workhours!??
I don't even like clotted cream or chocolate truffles but I JUST WANT THEM!
Stay focussed Minx - cue psyche up song:
"b-b-b-b-b-b baby you just aint seen nothing yet.....b-b-b-b-b-b-b baby....."
P.S. Can I just add that my mate just emailed me the following: "I'm feeling obese so I'm having a detox today (!) Fruit and water… Long may it last" - she weighs about 12 kilograms, is a perfect 10, not an ounce of fat on her body and even considered picking up some modelling work... (I am currently breathing in through my nose and out through my mouth - deep breaths and trying to think happy thoughts but it is not working)
mmm.... are you going to hurt her or am I???
7df9vskwy5
I immediately put my alarm on snooze and started dreaming about scrambled egg on toast only to wake up once again to reality...
At work, I found myself nibbling on yet another Lilliputin sized bowl of Granola!
In a day I am entitled to breakfast (cereal), a snack (health bar, oatbake biscuits or a fruit bar), 2 pieces of fruit throughout the day, lunch (soup) and dinner (stews, stroganoffs, curries etc). It is now just on 1pm and I only have dinner left....... I tried so hard to hold out but the detox headache, tiredness and hunger got the better of me.
I have no doubt that while you are reading this you can tell this is the work of a deprived and desperate woman! When I heated my soup up in the microwave and poured it into a serving bowl, I scraped off every possible reminant I could. There was no way I was going to miss out on any calories - I am only on 1200 per day and I am going to have every single one of them.
I think my boyfriend is going to think I am a nutter. He is quite a foodie and always likes to taste various dishes and when he sees my plate and interesting diet food he is going to want to stick his fork in.... well all I am saying is - he must watch out if he values his fingers! The worst thing is, I don't want him to think I am a crazy cow with defective angry genes so I am probablly going to have to let him eat 500 of my calories (I so rightly deserve) in one mouthful!
Day 2 is so difficult, I must hang in there and stay focussed!
I swear I am being tested, Jason in IT (evil personified) has sent out an email: "clotted cream toffees and chocolate truffles - please tuck in".... oh my heavens I am feeling rather vulnerable right now, my body has a natural GPS to the sweetie table and I keep having to bloody walk past it and pretend I am not interested.
This is crazy, please God can I wake up tomorrow morning looking like Cindy Crawford, I even promise not to email, blog or do and ficticious online shopping during workhours!??
I don't even like clotted cream or chocolate truffles but I JUST WANT THEM!
Stay focussed Minx - cue psyche up song:
"b-b-b-b-b-b baby you just aint seen nothing yet.....b-b-b-b-b-b-b baby....."
P.S. Can I just add that my mate just emailed me the following: "I'm feeling obese so I'm having a detox today (!) Fruit and water… Long may it last" - she weighs about 12 kilograms, is a perfect 10, not an ounce of fat on her body and even considered picking up some modelling work... (I am currently breathing in through my nose and out through my mouth - deep breaths and trying to think happy thoughts but it is not working)
mmm.... are you going to hurt her or am I???
7df9vskwy5
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