...add to basket

So today it appears I have "got it together" - I have my wits about me and I have my focus back (thank the Pope).
In the minutes or hours surrounding my mini "oh my God I cannot believe I put the weight back on" panicked moments, which usually follow a weekend of crazy shenanigans, I am a salesman's dream - weak, vulnerable and ready for the next thing that might finally change my life once and for all!
There were an array of options presented to me yesterday; "10 sessions of kettle bell weight training for £70", "15 sessions Power Plate for £99" and "introduce a friend to Slimmer's World 50% off" (just to name a few) which one was it going to be? I almost blew some more money on by waistline, apparently good old fashioned will power, moderation and commitment don't even enter my mind at times like these.
Luckily most of my shopping online is fictitious and I never quite make it past the "Add to Basket" stage, amazingly I have some kind of practicality that overrides these mad episodes and makes me say to myself "pull yourself together girl and step away from that computer"! I got into a habit in those dark and dull hours during the festive season when everyone but me was enjoying the holidays. I would pretend I was rich and famous and that I was having a elaborate dinner party - I shopped and shopped, spent about £2000 on food and then..... [click] CANCEL ORDER! Of course I chose a gorgeous and expensive outfit from Karen Millen for the event for £2000 ....[[click]CANCEL ORDER and plenty of jewels from accessorise £150 .... [click]CANCEL ORDER, If I remember correctly, I even plotted a 'round-the-world' holiday with STA on a online map and....[click] CANCEL ORDER!
I cannot say that I am completely innocent, sometimes I accidentally click "PROCEED TO CHECKOUT" but of course I can always justify my purchases, there is always a reason or an excuse:

-Diet Chef: all meals delivered to your house for 28 days - lose 1 stone in 1 month" - I was tired of cooking and needed more time to myself

-Weight Watchers: I did not want to just lose weight but have a lifestyle change

-Callanetics DVD - to change my body shape (Callan cares, "she is not a model or an actress just a teacher who cares about changing people's bodies")

-Vegetarian cooking recipe book - recipe ideas!

-Low fat cooking recipe book - more recipe ideas!

-1 year's subscription to Zest magazine (health tips/cooking and exercise tips)

-Matching underwear (any good behaviour deserves a set of matching underwear)

-Magazines - loads of them (all Goddesses must be in tune with what is en-vogue, tips, new products, who is doing what, new books etc)

I am proud to say yesterday, I survived all temptation (perhaps I should thank a power cut). I did not feel sorry for myself, I did not abuse my credit card nor did buy into a new weight loss phenomenon, I just simply just plodded on. In typical "FATTY MENTALITY" I did have a massive pasta for dinner (penne with deep fried spinach balls) which was absolutely delicious but pushed me over the edge after a weekend of eating way too much but I treated the over indulgence as the "wake" to my horrendous catastrophic weekend (which I never want to think about again).

So here we are once again, halo shining, stars in my eyes.... my inner Goddess is coming 'out of the bloody closet' whether she wants to or not!!