Releasing my 'inner cave man'

Do you think that if you have a sliver of cake and drink two litres of water shortly thereafter... that the cake dissolves into nothing and the calories seize to exist?
This time it was genuinely a sliver of cake per kind favour of bloody W.I. so good on me, I have done my bit for developing the skills of British woman . I was resisting ever so brilliantly until my colleague literally lured me over to taste the cake from her mother's 60th birthday party!
Anyway I am over it, I have pulled myself together and I now I am moving "onwards and upwards".... tomorrow I am back at the gym after a few days break because of a minor summer cold.
I am a bit annoyed, my boyfriend who does not know a thing about my secret mission and started his own personal "body beautiful" after me, is losing weight and feeling "right on track" with his goals. What?
Crikey I better shake a leg as next thing "Ken" is going to upstage "Barbie" and that cannot be done

Men are so uncomplicated when it comes to things like this - if they are too fat, they go to gym, stop drinking beer and suddenly over night the Webber lid that that they had appeared to have swallowed is nowhere to be seen! As for us woman... if we are overweight a whole psychological can of worms opens up - we look at the cause, root and symptoms of the problem, join a gym (but of course sometimes that does not work ), then you join a walking club, buy new gym kit, buy weight loss mags, invest in new trainers, put your life on hold until the weight is gone... then banish all wine to speed up the weight loss process but then..... re-introduce it to drown your sorrows and suddenly years down the track and the same ugly and stubborn kilograms are there still there....just popping up over them trousers and there it is, the bloody muffin top!! Seriously I hate to admit it, but instead of trying to find my "skinny girl's mentality" perhaps I should find my "inner man" or should I say.... "cave man"

"ME FAT ... ME MUST STOP EATING CRAP AND MUST THROW MORE STONES TO MAKE ME STRONG" -

According to the very annoying instructor at my gym who commented to me when I was signing my contract, after I told him my main goal was to lose weight and tone up...
"It is simple maths love... you just eat less and exercise more" grrrrrrrrr................ clearly maths has never really been my strong point!