Deep in the trenches

When my alarm sounded in the early hours of this morning, my entire body was taken over by a rather unfamiliar feeling.... I was starving!!
I immediately put my alarm on snooze and started dreaming about scrambled egg on toast only to wake up once again to reality...
At work, I found myself nibbling on yet another Lilliputin sized bowl of Granola!
In a day I am entitled to breakfast (cereal), a snack (health bar, oatbake biscuits or a fruit bar), 2 pieces of fruit throughout the day, lunch (soup) and dinner (stews, stroganoffs, curries etc). It is now just on 1pm and I only have dinner left....... I tried so hard to hold out but the detox headache, tiredness and hunger got the better of me.
I have no doubt that while you are reading this you can tell this is the work of a deprived and desperate woman! When I heated my soup up in the microwave and poured it into a serving bowl, I scraped off every possible reminant I could. There was no way I was going to miss out on any calories - I am only on 1200 per day and I am going to have every single one of them.
I think my boyfriend is going to think I am a nutter. He is quite a foodie and always likes to taste various dishes and when he sees my plate and interesting diet food he is going to want to stick his fork in.... well all I am saying is - he must watch out if he values his fingers! The worst thing is, I don't want him to think I am a crazy cow with defective angry genes so I am probablly going to have to let him eat 500 of my calories (I so rightly deserve) in one mouthful!
Day 2 is so difficult, I must hang in there and stay focussed!
I swear I am being tested, Jason in IT (evil personified) has sent out an email: "clotted cream toffees and chocolate truffles - please tuck in".... oh my heavens I am feeling rather vulnerable right now, my body has a natural GPS to the sweetie table and I keep having to bloody walk past it and pretend I am not interested.
This is crazy, please God can I wake up tomorrow morning looking like Cindy Crawford, I even promise not to email, blog or do and ficticious online shopping during workhours!??
I don't even like clotted cream or chocolate truffles but I JUST WANT THEM!

Stay focussed Minx - cue psyche up song:
"b-b-b-b-b-b baby you just aint seen nothing yet.....b-b-b-b-b-b-b baby....."

P.S. Can I just add that my mate just emailed me the following: "I'm feeling obese so I'm having a detox today (!) Fruit and water… Long may it last" - she weighs about 12 kilograms, is a perfect 10, not an ounce of fat on her body and even considered picking up some modelling work... (I am currently breathing in through my nose and out through my mouth - deep breaths and trying to think happy thoughts but it is not working)
mmm.... are you going to hurt her or am I???

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