5h30am this morning I was meant to be up and about and getting ready to go to gym but instead, I found myself hitting the snooze button every 5 minutes all the way to 7 'clock. I was tired and lethargic and utterly uninspired after looking in the mirror on a loo run in the early hours of the morning only to discover that I looked exactly the same as the day before. Nope, no begginings of chiseled cheekbones or a slimmer waist, just exactly the same however, the rings under the eyes are new (typical). My prayers to wake up looking like Cindy Crawford went unnoticed, I am thinking that perhaps the Gods are preoccupied with world peace or something so I might have to do this all by myself! Bugger!
When I arrived at work today, my colleagues sitting around me (all women) were all in a tizz. They have heard a rumour that I am on "Operation Goddess" and want to find out all the details. Oh my, it is quite sad how us women are so desperate to find the next quick fix that is finally going to solve all our body issues. There I was, in amongst all my colleagues, holding the floor and answering a battery of questions about what method I am using, the tricks, the food the excercise you name it. Apparently I am the "Guinea Pig" and if I start looking fabulous in 2 weeks they will all jump on board.... ummm I am just going to ignore the slight insult there that apparently I must not be looking too fabulous right now (1200 Calories makes one highly sensitive). Everyone is ogling over my every mouthful - I definitely will not get away with cheating, this mission may just work.
I popped out during my lunch break feeling quite good as I still have one snack left for the day and it is almost 14h00. My headache is still there and I would kill for a power nap however, I am no longer feeling like I could potentially die of starvation in the next hour!
Of course, owing to my current situation I have a new found bitchy streak and I noticed a rather large lady in the lift at work wearing kitten heels... FYI this is really not a good look. If you are overweight, obese, porky or plump do not even go near a kitten heeled shoe, you cannot help thinking, when looking from behind that the weight has been to much for the heel to bear and it is in mid collapse! You may even look like Cinderella's less attractive sister whose foot was too bloody chubby to fit into the glass slipper. If you are going to wear heels, please refrain from wearing squashed heels A) they are not in season and B) normal sturdy heels make the leg look so much leaner and longer and of course it makes you feel sexy and tall.
After mentioning my "one snack left" I now cannot stop thinking about it.... it is only an apple for God's sake! What is happening to me?
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